Marriage Veterans: Alan and Rebecca Baldwin
Our newest (and my personal favorite) column is about couples who have been married for 20+ years, or as we will call them, marriage veterans. Despite the escalating divorce rates, these people have managed to stay married longer than some couples have been alive. This week we have two very special veterans; my mom and dad! I hope their interview inspires you, gives you hope and excitement for your married future as it has mine.
When were you married?
-February 7th, 1975
How many years have you been married?
-36 years
What’s the best part of your marriage?
Rebecca- For me it is spending time together when the house is quiet and cozy.
Alan- Growing together.
Most difficult part?
Rebecca- When conflicts arise and we find ourselves put in the middle.
Alan– Growing together!
What is your song together?
-Your Song by Elton John
Favorite memory?
Rebecca- All the happy ones! Most likely when he asked me on our first date, which was a picnic on December 27th in New England; there was snow all over the ground! I thought it was very smooth.
Alan- Way too many to choose just one. I would have to say our first year together; we didn’t have the slightest idea what we were doing.
Where did you two meet?
Rebecca- At a bar called Dial Tones. In my defense, they had really good bands and I liked to dance.
Alan- We met through a mutual friend.
What helped you stay in love?
Rebecca- Time, and perseverance.
Alan- By remembering the good, and trying to see through the eyes of the other.
How was the proposal made?
Rebecca- In a little Italian restaurant in Milford, Connecticut.
Alan- Which time? I would ask and then take it back. Finally, I just asked!
Advice for engaged/newlywed couples?
Rebecca- For engaged couples, I would say listen to one another and if you find something that really bothers you, but you think you can change it, you might want to reconsider this person as a spouse. You might settle for other things in life, but never a spouse. Most importantly, ask God if this is who he wants you to spend the rest of your life with, if yes welcome Him into your life, your marriage promise, and keep Him in the center. As for newlyweds, again, listen to one another. Respect one another all the time and work with one another, never against each other.
Alan- Marriage is not a ‘50/50’ thing. If it’s going to work, you go into it for the forever of it and give ‘100/100+’. There may be a time when our better half can only give 50% and that’s when you pick up the slack, and vice versa. There has to be an equal sharing of the responsibilities, without reverting to the stereotypical man/woman roles. Oh, and take time everyday to be alone to both talk, and pray about things. If God isn’t invited to the wedding, or into the marriage, no matter how well you think you’re suited to each other, it will be an uphill battle that you could lose tragically.
Look out for new “Marriage Veterans” articles in the upcoming months! Keep calm and carry on my lovely readers.
Your inspired blogger,
Stephanie Baldwin