Monica

Family First: The Lain Legacy of Love, Art, and Unity

by Tina + Chris Lain
Photos by Shoocha Photography

> Click here for the full photo gallery

> Click here to read the article in The One Bride Guide magazine (edited for space)

Meet Chris and Tina Lain: business owners, family-focused, and powerfully creative, these two have been through all types of adventures to get to where they are now as a couple. We asked them to tell their story and give us a glimpse behind the curtain to learn what success in marriage means to them after over thirty-four years together. Tina describes their thoughts below.

Chris Lain is founder, tattooer, and painter with Pinnacle Tattoo. He spent his early childhood on the family farm, Knolle Farms, in Sandia Texas until his family moved to Corpus Christi. Tina Lain is founder, cosmetic and restorative tattoo artist with Gold Dust Cosmetic Collective. Originally from Scottsdale, Arizona, she moved to Corpus Christi in 1991 and met Chris that same year. Tina had some opportunities in Austin and the couple maintained a long distance courtship with the lost art of handwritten love letters sent via snail mail, endless hours of rotary long distance phone calls, and spontaneous plane tickets. All of this provided a beautiful beginning to a relationship deeply rooted in friendship. Tina moved back to Corpus Christi, and in April, 1999, they were married.

What do you want the readers to know about each of you?

Chris Lain
Tattooer + Painter
Pinnacle Tattoo, Founder
I was born in Corpus Christi, TX and spent my early childhood on the family farm, Knolle Farms, Sandia Texas. Late childhood, my family moved to Corpus Christi where I’ve since stayed and created a home.

Tina Lain
Cosmetic + Restorative Tattoo Artist
Gold Dust Cosmetic Collective, Founder
I am originally from Scottsdale, Arizona. I moved to Corpus Christi in 1991 and while I miss the mountains and desert, the Bend has become my home.

What do you want readers to know about your family

We have two sons, Christian (Sierra) and Carson (Evieonna). Being their parents has given us the opportunity to nurture a familial foundation for generations ahead. A gift we don’t take lightly and a responsibility we cherish daily, more so on our hardest days.

We have three grandchildren, Luca West, Julian Thomas (Christian and Sierra) and Leyla Marie (Carson and Evieonna). The joys of the second act emulate the first, but with a wiser perspective based on life experiences shared with our own children.

As young parents, in order to secure our future and provide for his growing family, Chris focused on cultivating his artistic career. This translated to many early mornings and an equal number of late nights at the studio. He missed countless family gatherings, a few games, and one or two school assemblies. At the same time, while giving my best efforts to our growing boys, I too was juggling undergrad followed by grad school, working full-time, acting as the Scout mom, and basketball coach for our boys. Life was busy, some of those days felt hectic, challenging even, but in the chaos we also saw our strength. There was a goal in place and a plan in action, we were working to create a life we would be proud to live.

Together through many shared trials and a few turbulent tribulations Chris and I did our level best to be present, active parents— With that said, it’s important to acknowledge, not every day was a diamond. We felt shared pleasure as we measured accomplishments made and the pendulum swing of pain when one or the other fell short— Parenting is difficult, it requires Your best efforts every single minute of every single day. To expect perfection is to unknowingly prepare yourself for failure. A simple rule of three; be present, be prepared, and be willing to pour into your family. In doing so, we are fortunate enough to share a beautiful relationship with our adult sons based on a mutual respect and appreciation for one another.

Now, as grandparents, we are able to enjoy our grandchildren without the same stressors experienced as young parents— This has been a gift we cherish, deeply. Blessed be the power of the little three.

Tell us about getting married – When? Where? How long did you date? How long were you engaged? Tell us about the proposal.

We married in a small outdoor ceremony in Corpus Christi, April 1999. Having met in 1991, we cultivated a friendship that would become the foundation of our lasting marriage. I met Chris immediately upon moving to Corpus Christi in 1991. But, by mid 1992 I moved to Austin for education and employment opportunities. However, we quickly knew we would share this lifetime together and we began to make plans for a return move.

During the period apart, we maintained a long distance courtship with the lost art of handwritten love letters sent via snail mail, endless hours of rotary long distance phone calls (the phone bills were astronomical), and spontaneous plane tickets waiting for me at Bergstrom Airport SW Ticketing Counter (airport and travel security was much less strict then, you could walk into the airport, go to the ticking counter, tell them your name, and retrieve your prepaid ticket all with little efforts). All of this provided a beautiful beginning to a relationship deeply rooted in friendship.

Our engagement was much shorter than our actual courtship. During our family movie date night, Chris and our son Christian asked me to marry them together. They wrote a sweet, ‘will you marry us?’ note and tied my beautiful solitaire marquise diamond placed inside of a box of Hot Tamales… Both of them patiently waited for me to reach in and find it!! Once I did, our son Christian giddy with excitement, looked at me with his brilliant brown eyes and the most joyful grin while his daddy stood behind him with an identical look… WILL YOU? I of course said, a resounding Y E S!! I don’t think we watched the move the evening, in fact, I don’t even remember what movie we were watching. Lucky me!!

Did you write your own vows or use traditional vows? Do you think about your vows much now, almost 30 years later? If so, what parts of your vows do you draw from or focus on?

Our vows exchanged were ones we both read and modified specifically to fit our family of three. In part, they consisted of the customary words including honor and allegiance, love and cherish, and for better and for worse. However, as a matter of principle we elected to remove any reference to obeying and together added words of unity and equality. We also added a special sentiment for our son, Christian. Acknowledging and incorporating him into our vows and ceremony with heartfelt words and a custom bracelet inscribed with a personal message solidified his role in our relationship and reinforced we are a family first before we are anything else.

If we’re to be completely honest, either one of us remember the exact vows expressed at our ceremony. Instead, what we’ve found beneficial is to acknowledged when something is working and continue to work on perfecting whatever the practice is. Likewise, we are both readily willing to admit when there is disconnect and diligently work to dismantle the discord keeping our family harmonious.

Having now lived more of our lives together in unity than we have apart in independence, we know from experience in this lifetime, if we are lucky, we will and have grown-up, grown-in, grown-out, and circled back to self and serving each other many times over and always with a slightly different version of ourselves. In this, we afford each other the opportunity to feel and express our respective feelings and emotions while simultaneously nurturing one another and our relationship. It’s important to acknowledge perfect doesn’t exist, we will never have a perfect marriage, but together we will always be our best. We are the pairing of worn leather and delicate lace, the balance of both strength and softness, a complement designed for one another.

What’s your go-to line of advice you regularly give to couples about to be married or newly married? What would you write on the greeting card?

In the day of technology, Chat GPT, and AI assistance, we see more poets and untrained / unlicensed professionals offering their words of wisdom, which we find to be a dangerous dive. Keeping a simple thought at the forefront of our marriage; ‘family first,’ we’ve taken what information serves us and opted to leave the rest at the door. Likewise, we encourage everyone else to do the same.

Our singular thought that rings above the rest in this moment is something we’ve told our son’s Christian and Carson as they continue to cultivate and nurture their own families, ‘The family you come from while it is important, the family you create is always your priority.’

Our power is pouring into ourselves. Contrary to some beliefs, this is not a selfish act. Doing so will allow each of us to become the best version of ourselves, which is one of the most important gifts we’ll ever give our family— Our best self. This provides the foundation for each of us to love both self and spouse just as we deserve; wholeheartedly, unconditionally with both trust and respect.

What was a belief you had about marriage that has changed over the years? Or what was an expectation you had about marriage that you had to let go of?

My perspective and thoughts on marriage have never wavered; at my core I believe we need each other at every season of our life. In our early years we lean on and into our maternal / paternal family dynamic to provide us with what will serve as our fundamental foundation. In our adolescence, our friends, peers, teachers, coaches, and the like take a front and center role in our development. In our adult life, while we’re still nurturing who are, our experiences culminated up to this point establish our core values. We will attract like minded individuals and together, we become a stable center to our spouse providing an environment where both partners feel emotionally secure, comfortably supported, and have a safe sense of predictability.

Describe a seemingly small thing that your spouse does for you that makes you feel taken care of.

We have always been expressive, poetic, and thoughtful in both words and actions alike. Chris is kind and generous with a passionate heart. I am guided by a moral compass and an unwavering allegiance to our family. There is not one thing either of us do daily, but who we are and how we love each other every single day.

Describe your ideal, favorite way to spend date night.

Our views on the ultimate date look a little different at the start, but end the same way…

Now living in our ‘Free Bird’ era, date night is every night we share together. As small business owners, our schedules don’t permit for many spontaneous weekday dates, so we religiously plan monthly weekends away making sure to disconnect from the hustle and reconnect with one another. Chris’ take on the ultimate date night is one that turns into a date morning— A simple man, he likes what he likes, and it seems he likes me— Lucky me!!

What do you do, or who do you go to for support in your relationship when you are having conflict? Are you private about your conflicts and deal with it between the two of you or do you talk with family, close friends, counselors, etc. as you are going through it? Are there any “external” resources or people that you turn to for help?

We are firm believers in keeping our personal life personal, it is the magic that makes us, us and the fiber that keeps our family safely woven in a protective love. With that said, we readily acknowledge we’ve had our fair share of familial trials and tribulations. Experiencing these challenges are both normal and expected in every healthy relationship. It’s how we choose to face our challenges that puts a purpose in our path.

Together, in unity, we diligently work to overcome both personal and professional adversities. We’ve utilized marriage counseling services in the past and while we didn’t necessarily learn new tools or communication skills, having a third party (non familial member) act as a sounding board, directing discussions proved invaluable. We will never walk in front or behind one another, always arm-in-arm and side-by-side knowing together we will overcome every obstacle.

In general, as a family who owns two small local businesses, much of our daily life is shared publicly. As a result, we’ve opted to keep our nuclear family life and the lives of our family members private. That is until now— In fact, this is the first intimate exchange we’ve ever shared publicly. There is a measure of sanctity found within protecting our personal life, preservation and peace reside in privacy.

If you get into a bad conflict, and you are both being stubborn, what is something that helps to trigger you out of it? Is there something that you or your spouse does (once one of you stops being stubborn) that will deflate the negativity or help turn the situation around?

Chris is the calm to my cool, his naturally neutral temperament was an immediate attraction. He is and always has been a brilliant communicator.  I on the other hand, keep conflict close to my chest and typically remain tight lipped. I’ve have had to learn how to open myself up to a discussion and receive resolution.

Initially, our style of defusing a dispute varied drastically. I am a master at compartmentalization while Chris is equally proficient in deconstructing and dissolving any and all issues. Together, we’ve successfully navigated (with many hurdles, obstacles, detours, and pitfalls in between) our lifetime together. I generally need a minute to breathe and contemplate my thoughts before discussing, Chris is ready for conversation immediately. Chris had made me a better version of myself with every challenge overcome. Just as Tina has made me the man I am today.

Through the years, what is the “thing” that keeps you together and keeps your commitment solid? What is the “glue” that holds you together no matter what?

We both agree, there is not just one, but rather a culmination of a lifetime of shared experiences together that solidify our unity. We and wildly different, yet at our core we are a carbon, a mirror of sorts of one another. Chris believes a big part of this equation is the respect we have for one another and while I agree, I credit his unwavering leadership keeping us grounded and growing!

Tell us about an adventure you had together that brought you closer together.

With Chris’ career, over the last 10+ years, we’ve had the opportunity to travel the globe. Annually travels to Europe, have provided gifts of experiencing cultural diversity, tasting the flavors of the world, and exploring life beyond the beautiful Bend.

What we’ve learned over the course of our many adventures shared is… With our countless list of top-10 adventures, there have also been navigational disagreements, we’ve been lost or stuck on more than one occasion, we’ve tasted flavors we never want on our palettes again, we’ve driven on fumes, and walked through the forest with blisters on our feet— And in all of it, in the mud and muck we have wish for one more night because we were together.

Chris has taught me, perspective is everything. We can share a weekend in the hill country or weeks abroad and both adventures will yield cherished memories (there will also be the ones we hope to soon forget, the truthful balance of life).

Not as much of an adventure most would think of, but upon reading and writing our answer to this question together, I couldn’t help but think of how the loss of my parents brought Chris and I closer together. To lose one parent is difficult to lose both within six-months was nearly devastating. So while not touring the bright city lights, walking quaint cobblestone streets, or taking in picturesque planes, navigating the loss of a loved one is indeed an emotional, spiritual, and physical journey (adventure). One when guided alone can be most excruciating, but when supported by your spouse, while still painful— The days are brighter and the nights bearable.

A last thought on this is— Adventures are meant to be lived daily.  Whether it is in the highest peaks climbed or the lowest valley hiked, we feel a deep sense of gratitude for all of it, the life we have worked so hard to create, our own. Don’t wait for a plane or train ticket, make your adventures your own; an impromptu picnic in the park or a surprise outing to the pet store with your grandchildren for a leopard gecko (true story) every experience can be our best one until our next one. Our lives are meant to be our own, create the one you wish to live every single day not just on holiday!!

What does “legacy” mean to you?

From father to son’s, the art of tattooing has been passed down as a sacred rite, not merely a trade, but as a way of living boldly, colorfully, authentically. We are a family bound by more than blood. Artistic tales through the use of pigment and skin will share our stories long after we’ve left and the generations ahead continue on.

The apprenticeship Chris provided Christian and Carson was never just an artistic instruction. Rather, it was and continues to be an example of trust, patience, and the quiet power of tradition unfolding in our home and our studios. Every line drawn carries more than pigment, it carries memory and meaning. It carries us.

This is our family’s legacy— Not just what we leave, but what we’ve built, together. Creating art that will last the test of time, carrying forward a family tradition of artistic excellence, honoring what came before us, where we are today, and what we will leave behind. While we are their foundation, our son’s by their own design are the future of the Lain Legacy.

What do you think couples need to do more of to help them keep their vows and stay together?

Unlike most questions, we answered this one separately— We  laughed at how similar our responses were.

Tina— Connect. Disconnect. Reconnect. Repeat. If you are fortunate, through the course of your marriage, you will fall in love with a variant or version of the person you married over and over and over again. You will also experience periods where your spouse is not your favorite person— That’s okay too, remembering to love someone does not equate to always liking their behavior. The evolution of self must serve your spouse as much as it does yourself.

Chris— Couples need to be open to the evolution of the marriage as well as each other. Life is long and there will be many instances  that will take place and shape who we are as individuals within the relationship. Those experiences will also change the dynamic of the marriage. In moving forward as a unit, it is a helpful to be accepting of those changes in your spouse.